 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
||||||||
|
|||||||||
| Sign up for BellerBytes, the official (and private) Bryan Beller e-newsletter. Just click here to sign up. Do it, OK? | |||||||||
|
(Click HERE to go directly to the column index. Or, read my pithy introduction, won't you?) Believe it or not, when I turned 26 I swore to myself that by the age of 30 I'd have an opinion/lifestyle column in a major magazine. Thanks to the folks at Bass Player, my first attempt at visualization proved successful—two years early. Published roughly every other month between September of 1999 and January of 2003, my column never was specifically about bass playing, as in how and where to put your fingers when you play a such-and-such scale in the key of A-flat. It began as a slightly offbeat column on the world in which we bassists live. Once I discovered that the editors were receptive to slightly off-topic material, the format expanded beyond my most wildly subversive dreams. They let me do it for three years, a total of eighteen columns. And thanks to the generosity of the fine BP staff, they'll live here in perpetuity for your perusal. Many thanks to current editor Bill Leigh (thou givest thy reprint permission), former editor Richard Johnston (the column was his idea, not mine), Bass Player veterans Karl Coryat (the actual editor of most of my work, if I'm not mistaken) and man-in-a-pinch Greg Olwell. And, of course, extra thanks to Jim Roberts, who got me involved with the mag in the first place back in 1994. Like I
said, it was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream to do this. Hope you
enjoy it as much as I did.
The inevitable
farewell column, in which I go against type and advocate wholesale violent
revolution against one's personal musical comfort level. And pull a
David Letterman with the mag's editors.
Watch in amazement as I throw a curveball to the Bass Player readership - and flat-out shock my editors - by writing a column that actually contains real-world, easily applicable knowledge for working bassists in the studio. Plus, the semi-answer to a pressing question: What would God's Direct Box sound like?
Column
#16: Bass Astrology Sydney Omarr's got nothing on your humble narrator, who dons the cap of First Astrologer to the readership of Bass Player. So, baby, what's your sign?
Column
#15: A NAMM Reporter's Notebook This one's an M.I. (that's "Musical Instrument") industry special, as I went behind the scenes at the January, 2002 NAMM show with microcassette recorder in hand, asking but one simple question to anyone who crossed my path: "What's the first thing you think of when you think of NAMM?"
Column
#14: The Legend Of Lightning Mac What, you've
never heard of Ansford McQuarters, from Pecks Mill, West Virginia? The
best bassist you never heard in your life? Here's a hint: think Sidd
Finch.
Column
#13: Dear Jane Misogyny
or sentimentality? You decide, as I address an old friend in epistolary
form, and Bass Player runs it with a startling lack of editorial
control.
There are
no atheists in foxholes. Or on a low-budget tour of America. Featuring
a special guest appearance by the God of Bass. Column
#11: Tips From The Bargain Basement Written before 9/11 but well after signs of economic slowdown were hitting the country, I provide bassists everywhere with ways to save money during the tough times-and still have clean clothes and new strings every few gigs or so.
Column
#10: For The Love Of Money What happens when your humble narrator takes on the rare corporate gig that comes his way? You don't want to know. Actually, yes, you do, if only to see a "pro" have his lunch handed to him.
Column
#9: Crime & Punishment I stand before the high court of musical opinion and face charges ranging from benign negligence to wanton recklessness-with no "dream team" to save me when things go south. Which, of course, they do.
Column
#8: A One-Night Stand The old cliché that playing bass is a hell of a lot easier than playing guitar.turns out to be true. Someone we know finds out without even having to pick up one of those evil six-string things.
Column
#7: Image Is Nothing My personal (and the apparent public) favorite of the lot, in which I explore how to create a more complete bass playing experience through attempted image transformation. The results, for me at least, are mixed.
Column
#6: The Meaning Of NAMM An M.I. industry insider's special report on what everyone's favorite trade show is really like. Featuring a patent-pending Vicious Circular Theory™ on who attends and why.
Column
#5: Poor Man's Perfect Pitch Think you have to be some kind of freak to develop perfect pitch? Think again, and don't send your certified check or money order anywhere-because this one's on me.
Column
#4: To Thine Own Self Be True Some poor bassist named Michael Morris gets roped in to attending a jazz jam with the hot local cats. Just how does he make it through without embarrassing himself and ruining his "reputation" around town?
Column
#3: Getting In Over Your Head The closest thing to a conventional Bass Player column I ever managed to produce. This one's about improving technique in ways besides the monotonous drilling of scales. What, you think I practiced to a metronome?
Column
#2: Touring "Over There" A salty list of "do's" and "don'ts" for use when on tour in Europe. I'm most proud of the horrified Letter to The Editor it later inspired: "Who would have imagined Bass Player providing advice on finding prostitutes in Europe?!"
Column
#1: Finding Your Path To Success The inevitable introductory column, along with an attempt to break down bassists into four unique kinds of beings: Players, Addicts, Pickers and Planners. Why they let me continue submitting is anyone's guess. All materials by Bryan Beller, copyright United Entertainment Media Reprinted with permission from Bass Player. For subscription information, please call (850) 682-7644 or visit www.bassplayer.com |
|
