Ten Things I Hope Not To See In The Future
(excerpt from Bass Player special feature
"2001: A Bass Odyssey")
by Bryan Beller
Published February, 2001

10.  Ads that use the letters "ph" to make the "f" sound.  Ex.:  "Get PHAT bass sounds with the new PHAT PHUNK PHACTORY."

9.  Basses with over six strings.  Furthermore, anyone caught using a bass with six or more strings must immediately play something musical using both the low B and the high G simultaneously, or else their axe will be confiscated and turned into a coffee table.  Grandfather clause: Anthony Jackson, Doug Pinnick (twelve-string only).

8.  iMac style "see-through" amplifiers.  I know someone out there is thinking about it.  Don't.

7.  Bass karaoke: Play your favorite songs on bass at parties.  I'm not particularly worried about this one catching on, but if we see it anywhere let's kill it quickly.

6.  Power amplifiers rated at over 3,000 watts.  Two initials, juice-addicts: P and A.

5.  Basses with more than: (a) three tone knobs; (b) two toggle switches; c) six strings (repeated for emphasis)

4.  Bands with more than one bassist in it.  Self-explanatory, though some guitarists and lead singers probably think that one is already more than enough.

3.  Slapping.  It's at the point where it needs to go away and come back 15 years later to be cool again, like the pick.  Or the '80s. Grandfather/mother clause: Marcus Miller, Me'Shell N'DegéOcello.

2.  Press hype about the future of bass.

1.  Smarmy columnists musing about what they don't want to see in future of bass.

By Bryan Beller, copyright 2001 United Entertainment Media Reprinted from the February, 2001 issue of BASS PLAYER.
Reprinted with permission from BASS PLAYER. For subscription information, please call (850) 682-7644 or visit www.bassplayer.com