The

		click here for the home page of the new bryanbellerdotcom

It's nice to see you all again. I have to admit, I needed a break after pouring my undiluted, angst-ridden, heartfelt, way-too- melodramatic version of events on to this here usually jovial page. For once (and only once), I really didn't know what you were all thinking. So I asked you what you thought, and I wondered...were you all going to hate me? Would I receive the flaming of all flamings from irate Z fans? Was I to be the Judas Escariot of Z?? This right here is the official end of the melodrama...the answer was a resounding no. Over the last couple of weeks I've received more e-mail than I thought I would ever get from writing this damn thing. I guess there really are more than 7 people reading this thing. Actually, the official hit report is about 850 hits from 1/3/96 to 2/21/96 (figures courtesy of the CEO, Mr. Chatfield...this is the only company where the CEO writes reports for the employee. Corporate America could learn much from our huge success.).

But these are, but for my ego, meaningless statistics. The real story here is that I asked for your opinion and you gave it to me, no-holds- barred, right in the teeth. The official "Life Of Bryan" readers opinion poll is...(bad marching band drumroll, please...)...unanimously positive!! No one threatened to lynch me. Well, OK, there was ONE response that went something like, "Just for the record, I think that Z is the greatest band in the world, bar none." That was the closest I got to a flaming. Everyone else either thought I made the best of a bad situation, or that it was simply time to "leave the nest", or that they looked forward to both the release of "Pets" and hoped to see BFD in their neighborhood soon. Some even e-mailed offers of tangible support, like places to crash in the event of a low-budget BFD tour in their area, local booking contacts, and the like. Short of locking elbows and yelling "WAH WAH WAH!!" into the air as loud as we can, neither me nor Mike can adequately express how grateful we are for these kind gestures, and they're all being filed in my very own e-mail folder system for possible future use. WAH WAH WAH!!

Now it's time to go interactive, folks. I carefully evaluated all of the e-mail that I've received since the writing of The Stairmaster Epiphany, and it's time for some awards, honorable mentions, and some too strange to even mention. There's some weird folk out there, I've discovered. But, coming from a man who wears custom-fit red dresses and performs erotic dances on tabletops for complete strangers, you should know that weirdness is accepted and even encouraged here at Life Of Bryan, Inc. A little format information--bold type indicates the special someone who e-mailed me, and no bold type indicates my attempt at a clever, or at least accurate, response. Some "conversations" are edited, so I could fit more of you in here. OK? OK. As the PA announcer at a 1984 Van Halen concert would say...ARE YOU READY??? Here it is---the best of the "Life Of Bryan" Act 7 e-mail...

Our first award goes for best subject. It's a tie...between George Hrab ("Nixon Returns From Grave, Says Feels "Tired"...it had nothing whatsoever to do with what he wrote), and Brian from Canada (Thanks For All The Fish). You're welcome, Brian. Here's George's, then Brian's:

WOW! Loved Act VII... Thanks for writing so much, and rest assured there are those of us out here that read all of it. (Now you probably just pictured some mutant psycho obsessed Keneally fan with with an X-Files tee shirt and retna burn, but there are us non-mutants out here as well) Good luck to you with everything, and thanks for all the info and most important, THE MUSIC.

Many you're-welcome's to you...I guess you could say that the truth is out there. This is probably a bad time to bring up the X-Files shrine I have in my bedroom. David Duchovny makes me think weird thoughts...B.B.

Hi there Brian... DOUGH!!! force of habit... BRYAN,

Hey there Bryan. How's it hanging?

We may be playing with you guys at the Music West festival in Vancouver. I'm definitely going to come check you guys out, I've been waiting years to see Keneally live.. ever since Hat came out. I love that CD, I love the new one, sometimes it's all I listen to for a week straight.

I know what you mean. Johnny One-Note is truly a masterpiece, I must admit.

Anyways I wanted to wish you luck as well, I know how terribly difficult it can be to have to decide between two bands.. That choice can really suck. I split with a group I was in when I was asked to join the band I'm currently in, I had friends in both bands, it was a tough choice to make.

Life is full of tough choices, I'm finding. Do I pay in cash or use the ol' credit card? Do I change strings or just boil them? Barbecue or Honey Mustard Sauce? Singles bars or online chat rooms? Sometimes I just can't make up my mind.

Hopefully I'll see you in Canada, eh? I'll buy you a beer and we'll talk about cheese or something.

-Brian (oddly enough, a bassist too)

When I get there, you have to tell me what a Canuck is.....B.B.

It took me about ten minutes of staring at the screen before I figured out that DOUGH was the typed version of the Homer Simpson exclamation of grief. "Dough?" I asked myself...what does he mean by that? It takes real intellect to do this stuff.

Now let's get to another award. This is for "most active participants". I know I'm asking for trouble by even mentioning this (soon I'll know why some call e-mail "e-jail"), but I wanted to acknowledge some folks who've been around since the days when there really were only 7 people reading this page. First, "Homus", who had the nerve to respond to the "try and transcribe the fast lick in Cheddar!" challenge all the way back in Act 2...

In light of the conditions surrounding this, I believe it's entirely for the better. I've always thought Mike didn't do enough to promote himself. Has BFD (or any previous Keneally bands) ever played outside of the Pacific Time Zone? There have been many occasions where I've thought of driving to LA, just to catch Mike/BFD live.

You're so kind. This year, our goal is to make it unnecessary for people to have to drive 12 hours to see us play. It's a Greyhound thing...leave the driving to us. You would have set the record, though.

And hell, after reading your latest installment of "Life Of Bryan", I would've done the same thing as you if I were in your position. So, it light of recent revelations, let me say "Congratulations", rather than "My condolences". I know how you felt about choosing between the two. Z was/is bitchen in its own right.

Words like that help me turn my frown upside down. Here's a smile for ya :-) And I agree on the Z thing very much.

It's been a busy week, peaking with two gentlemen from the Treasury Department visiting me on Thursday (don't ask)....

Using counterfeit bills again?.......B.B.

Homus actually was at Berklee College Of Music at the same time as me and Joe Travers, and saw us play there, late 80's hair and all. How scary.

Next we have Grover, a genuine computer expert and CD-Rom creator, but, more importantly, a direct descendant of the man who was the inspiration for the Sesame Street character of the same name. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

I just read your latest... I love your shit man. I am SO GLAD you and Mike are on the internet.

Thank you...I love your shit as well. I love everyone's shit so much. Love shit.

I love you guys, man! (Can I have your bass?)

Sorry, Grover, you're not getting my bass. And, frankly, son, you frighten me....B.B.

[from a later letter] Man, there's a lot of fucking love here on the internet. No wonder why the Republicans are banning it.

And, this, from the finder of CDEurope, the as-official-as-it's-gonna- get source for the French version of "Music For Pets", Brian Lagerman. Everyone's named Brian around here.

I can't believe you gave me a mention in your PAGE, I was quite surprised when I saw my name. You are too kind!

Yeah, the Life Of Brian. It's got a nice ring to it....don't mention it.

I've been checking the PAGE out every day for the latest info, looks like some east coast dates are in the works and I'm keeping my fingers crossed on those.

Berklee College Of Music in Boston around mid-April is a lock, and we're gonna try and plan dates around it. How about that?! Stay tuned....B.B.

Hey, there's some news for y'all, right? This is an "e-mail only" Act, however, and all updates/news/current happenings will be discussed in Act 9. Info that you see in these e-mails is strictly a bonus. Aren't I a prick? No need to respond through e-mail to answer that.

Next-- "Most Creative Use Of The English Language". Again a tie...between two Europeans. Theys got culture, you know. First, our Finnish correspondent Matti Salminen:

I`ve already told you my feelings when I heard that you & Mike were no longer in Z but after I`ve read your latest "Act" I have to touch that deal with a couple of thoughts more... and the blame`s on you - you asked for more!!!

This is all my fault, isn't it?

First I have to say that you could make a living as a writer... a storyteller whatever - I really enjoy reading your "Acts" - this no. 7 was like a thriller to say the least...

It took me 5 1/2 hours to write, and I did it without leaving the terminal even to urinate or anything. So, I appeciate that very much. I plan to write more in the future.

When I had read your perspective about the things (not) happening in your Z-world I just wonder a couple of things: WHY wasn`t MFP released in US? Why only in France?? Why is September a bad time to release a new cd (I`m no bussinesman but I`ve always taught that months before Christmas are the best bussineswise...) and why did Z as a "living" (touring) band kind of die last year?????

It had everything to do with getting a proper distribution deal, or something. I ain't no business eggspert. Basically, like an unused muscle, the collective muscles of Z seemed to atrophy as the year wore on and on. Why? I dunno.

But why destroy a great band? I have been listning to the french MFP again and I really think that if I`m talkin' about Dweezil`s albums/cds and bands that he has been workin' with so far the MFP outfit is clearly the best and the music is really good, fresh, nice. But what the fuck as they say over there....

I agree wholeheartedly about the music on MFP as compared to Dweezil's past projects...as objectively as I can being in my position. It was a good thing; that's why I wanted to do both projects. But, that option became no longer available to me. It was fun while it lasted.

Now it seems obvious moose clear that Keneally was to leave but I wouldn`t have liked to be in your place to make that decision... it was great to read how you actually did decide!! And I congratulate you for that! But what the fuck... You might not know that "what the fuck" is "mita vittua" in finnish so remember to shout that loud on some of the forthcomin BFD gigs... so that I`ll hear it later on one of the video releases........

What does "Stairmaster Epiphany" translate to in Finnish? If you can tell me, I'll yell it everywhere I go.

I`m sorry but I can`t translate "Stairmasters Epiphany" to you properly but you can always try this one: "porrasmestarin loppiainen" alltough it doesn`t make much sense at all but what the hey & boom boom.

I don't know if I can say that, let alone yell it, but thanks and boom boom to you too......B.B.

And Mr. Pontus Wassermann:

Have you heard Rog Water's latest solo album "Amused to Death"?

I heard it sucked. So I didn't buy it. Maybe now I'll reconsider...I always liked "Hitchhiking" myself.

Acka acka acka!!! Who told you that? Give me his name and I'll, as I say in MY language; "slita pungen av honom och kasta den =E5t hundarna".

Acka acka acka?! That is fucking pure genius, to say nothing of the tirade that followed. Can you say acka acka acka without laughing? Pontus is probably trying to figure out if WAH WAH WAH is the English translation to acka acka acka. Just typing that makes me laugh.

OK, time for some honorable mentions, or ones that I liked without being able to categorize. Here comes a bunch...

From Dave Hicks:

Just got through readin' the updateness and I must share with you that I kind of felt the same way after listening to "hat." for the first three times. You're indeed fortunate to have forged a relationship with Keneally and all the "knowing glances" you can stomach. Have a great time (which, I suppose, you already are).

I know how you feel man...it's so deep and meaningful. Especially "Johnny One-Note". And, there is definitely a limit to the number of Keneally glances I can stomach. He usually makes scary faces while he plays.

I'm trying to get Keneally to let me sing "Dhen Tin" onstage when BFD makes it to NYC. Persuade him thusly. Say: "You know what would be really fuckin' cool..?"

At which point he would surely say..."You sucking my dick?" Maybe you should ask him yourself. Peace!....B.B.

[Dave later wrote back that he had in fact already asked Mike, and his reply was something like "hmmfmfmmfmm".]

From Lance Honer, out of Philly:

well bryan i was wrong you sure did top the last the entry in the "life of bryan." it's really weird, i'm finding out all of this shit just as i finally got a copy of music for pets (actually i'm listening to "the happy song" right this second. i'll let you know how the order from cdeurope works out

Thanks, man. You've got your hands on a copy of MFP, eh? Brian Lagerman e-mailed me to confirm that his order is on the way, so CDEurope has now been officially endorsed by us here at "Life Of Bryan" quality control.

it sure sounded like a hell of a week, i sure wouldn't wanted to go through. it's like trying to choose between your mother and father. (i want me gold) but so long as YOU feel like yo made the right decision that's all that matters in the end. well that's my sad attempt at a pep talk. i sure would make a bad high school football coach.

With your refusal to use capital letters, you could always write liner notes for Nine Inch Nails if the high school football coach thing doesn't go well for you. Really, though, thank you. We're gonna play one for the gipper soon.

anywho, good luck on the road. you guys had better come out to philly. if you don't i can always have you killed

If we're not somewhere on the East Coast before the end of the year, I'll probably kill myself. Have a nice day....B.B.

From Glen Luczko, of Montreal, Canada (severely edited):

I'm a geek. There is no other explanation for the fact that I have been glued to Mike's web page for a huge part of this weekend. I saw your link and read your LOB entries. I'm just writing to thank you because I'm sure that you don't know what a wonderful opportunity it is for myself to get such a candid, humorous view of the, errr.... "big time".

Nice use of quotation marks at the end there. Welcome aboard...we welcome geeks with open, geeky arms.

There is no question that you made a mistake however... you indeed should never have introduced your roommate to your friend!

I'm going to get a pic of her up on the page soon...she's so cool and all of this would not exist without her.

[BB's note--a pic of the sexpot roommate Joanne will definitely appear in Act 9!!]

From where I sit, you seem to have made the right decision. Best of luck. Stardom ain't where it at... it's gotta be the creativity and the artistic expression. Somehow I can't picture Mike saying "It doesn't make sense to play out without an album to support".

That was not meant as a slam at "Z" for being corporate, and the problems with Z weren't a lack of creative input, it was with a lack of activity...but sometimes it really doesn't make sense to just tour for no reason other than to play. The biz is a weird thing. In light of the absence of a huge "promotions budget", we need to play in order to "spread the gospel", if you will.

Thanks for an absorbing read. BTW, Mike wrote that you were happy with your Siberian Khatru performance on the Yes tribute deal. I haven't heard it, but I'd like to know what you used on the date 'cuz I'm another Squire-loving fingerstyle player.

Kevin Gilbert had an old Rick waiting for me at the studio, and we plugged it into an old Ampeg head and pushed it through an SWR 4x10. It made me tingle.

I have many reasons to hate you : ) You're better looking, you're younger, you're making a living (I presume) playing music, you have better equipment than I do... but the kicker is... you don't have to deal with this wicked winter bullshit that we're going through up here. It sucks...

Hey, it rained here for two days straight last week! God, did I really say that? I'm turning into a weather pansy just like all of the natives out here. Try and stay warm, OK?.......B.B.

I'm Eric Tullis, from Indianapolis...good friend of Keneally pen pals Dave Stovall and Mike Lerch. I just read your opus about the Z split, and I just gotta say: You made the hard choice, but I don't think you'll regret it. BFD is really going to blossom, I feel, and you'll come out on top after all these fierce emotions start to subside. Just know that you've got a lot of support out here, and that we're with you all the way.

I've already told Mike K. that you guys need to get your asses out here to Indy, so that we can take you all out for pizza. Whaddya say? I'm sure the Vogue would love to have you back (that's the place you guys played when Z came through.)

Thanks for the show of support...I'd like nothing more than to be taken out for pizza in Indianapolis by you, Eric; hopefully we'll be there soon, perhaps in a more intimate setting than The Vogue. I tell all Indy e-mailers this...did you know that the Indy show was the consensus "best-played show" by the members of Z (especially Dweezil) on the last US tour? A live Z CD called "Live Beef" (not like it will ever come out or anything) is in the can, and it includes "Rubberband/Kidz Cereal/Mommy" from that show, as well as some edited stuff from the "Beef Mailbox" from there as well. Can you tell that you got me in a talkative mood? Sometimes I'm unfortunately like...."Thanks...hope to see you soon...be well!" So, thanks, hope to see you soon, be well!......B.B.

From Doug Sprei:

I loved the story of your stairmaster epiphany. You made an admirable leap of faith here, and I can only wish you the best.

Thank you! Maybe I should have turned the stairmaster off before I leaped...

At some point I hope I can help you and Mike make a foray into western New York (Rochester, Buffalo, Ithaca, Toronto environs).

Any help you can provide us (venues, contacts, places to crash for free) are more then welcome and will be filed as such.

FYI, the Buffalo Bills are going to win the Super Bowl next year.

Uh-huh. Tell Thurman Thomas to bring his helmet next year, he won't want to miss the Bills not making the playoffs. You must hate me, being a Giants fan, the same Giants who won the only Super Bowl the Bills ever deserved to win...sorry, I'll be nice now. Thanks for your support........B.B.

From Kevin Cox:

I've just read 'bout your enviable, if not unfortunate position re: Z. While I have not had the pleasure of listening to the Z work, I am nonetheless sure you've made the correct decision. Many people work their entire lives without finding comarades to respect and admire. It sounds to me as if you've found someone (Mr. K.) with whom you can communicate sans words, very rare indeed.

Yeah, me and the Mike guy are close. Real close. We know exactly when the other one needs to eat Mexican food, without saying a word. Real close. And, thank you for the voice of support.....B.B.

From Doug Duhon, of Dallas, TX:

Hey Bryan, just read Life of... I have been conversing with Mike through e-mail for a while and I have seen your name on the Dust Speck C.D. and all over his Page. I did know of your affiliation with Z, but only a little. I would like to know more about you. I am really into Mike's music. I love the stuff that Toss, Lunn and Keneally did. Hope to hear more from You Mike and Toss. I met Doug Lunn in LA last year, he informed me about Keneally and Co. Talked briefly about you.

Ah, a late convert. Well, as they say in AOHell, "Welcome!" As for Doug Lunn (all of a sudden everyone changed their name from "Brian" to Doug" around here), the Lunn vibe is a cool musical thing that I can't approach in my own playing, but can appreciate very much from afar. Hearing him solo in "My Dilemma" at an early gig was a big trip. You want to know more about me, eh? I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I bet you wished you never asked.

I would kill For Live BFD or better yet Video.

Your video wishes will come true soon. Me and Mr. K are going over much video this very day.

I have been trying to get more Toss Panos recordings. He has a fresh approach. I am into Bozzio, Colaiuta, and other giants but I welcome Toss's playing with open ears. Hope your travels take you to Dallas, TX. I would love to see BFD live. If not maybe I can get out to L.A. this summer to see BFD.

Toss is a very unique drummer, due to his wide range of influences...jazz, rock, reggae, latin...you name it, the Greek Wonderboy can play it. He scares me constantly. As far as travelling to LA for BFD, the current record is from Big Sur, CA to San Diego...about 450 miles. Let's hope you don't need to break that record in order to see us. Say hi to Deion Sanders for me.......B.B.

Anyone still there? If you didn't have the endurance to make it this far (and who could blame you?), you'll have missed the winner of the contest that you didn't even know was being held. Hey, it's an awards show, so it has to be way too long. The winner is...(Peter Criss drumroll please...)...Brad Dahl! WAH WAH WAH!!! Brad is a longtime bass player with much nasty real world experience in the "local music scene" thing, as well as at the Poison Control Center, where he works the graveyard shift. You have to read in order to believe some of the things he sees. OK, here it is, edited, but undiluted, Brad Dahl!

Hey nipple sucker,

Thanks for responding to my ramblings. So I sound familiar? Ever been in a Swedish prison? It's been a crazy night here. Valentines Day has really taken it's toll. There's been more suicide attempts tonight than you can shake a stick at (I've tried). This poor 16 year old guy was dumped by his girlfriend tonight so he headed for the medicine cabinet. I told him you're supposed to make her take the drugs, not you! It's a crazy world we live in, and it's getting crazier every day. He's fine now, another life saved. Isn't love grand?

I brought in Dust Speck tonight for entertainment (I also broke out the Badlands CD's in honor of your NAMM experience with Jake). I'll bring in Shampoo Horn tomorrow night for added inspiration (nobody would dare try to kill themselves while I listen to that)

[BB's note...except for the guy responsible for the drum sounds on the record...]

Next question: Do people yell out "FREEBIRD!" when you guys play? I don't think I've ever played a gig where this hasn't happened.

[BB's note--yes, in Arcata, CA. Someone yelled "Freebird!" and someone else yelled "Stairway To Heaven!" We played both, at the same time. It sounded awful.]

This job ain't so dangerous. It's all phone consult, mostly kids getting into medications or cleaners. Alot of what we do is interfere with natural selection by keeping the weak and the stupid alive. Tonight a woman who works at Taco Bell was sprayed in the back of the head with a fire extinguisher by a coworker (must have thought her hair was on fire). Now she says her head is numb. I told her that some people actually enjoy that feeling and if enough people find out this may be the next teenage craze (numb all over, a little taco on the side) . And this just in from Ely, Nevada (Nevada doesn't have a Poison Center): A woman put eucalyptus oil in some water on the stove for her friend to inhale to help with her cold. She leaves the dangerous kitchen for awhile and returns to find the pan empty. Her friend drank it! She thought it might work better that way. Then she rammed her finger down her throat and puked all over the kitchen. I think this did help her cold symptoms though. You may want to see if Mike can get you guys booked in Ely, they know how to party.

Dear Fascist Bully Boy,

So I show up to work tonight to a note from one of my co-workers saying "why didn't you warn me these people were idiots?!" He was of course referring to the fire extinguisher family. Gee, I thought it was obvious from the story. It seems the whole family works at Taco Bell (this may explain the low prices) and he had to talk to 5 of them before he found one who knew anything about the patient. Just in case you were wondering, her head is still numb (surprise).

Story for tonight. This chick calls saying she wanted to clean her toilet, but had no toilet bowl cleaner. So she gets out the oven cleaner and goes to town. Now her 19 year old brother comes over, goes in to use the can, and comes out screaming. Now he's got a dick that looks like it's been in a pencil sharpener! I don't know about you, but I usually don't rub my dick all over the toilet when I urinate.

One more toilet story, this guy calls up saying he dropped a frozen meat pie into the toilet (there's no way I could make this stuff up). He wants to know what are the risks of eating it. 2 questions: What the hell are you doing in the bathroom with a frozen meat pie? How could you even consider eating something that came out of your toilet? Sometimes people are so stupid that I have to ask them "who dialed the phone for you anyways?"

Tonight's real theme though is "gee, this isn't what I thought it was". A woman drank Sunlight (it's OK to mention brand names, isn't it?) liquid dishwashing soap thinking it was pineapple juice. She puked. Another woman thought she had the Maalox and instead got the shampoo. She puked 3 times and went to the hospital. She's now resting comfortably in the state's most expensive hotel (she must have good insurance or they would've booted her butt out along time ago).

If I was going to have a man suck my dick, Jake E. Lee would be a good choice (he has those pistol grip ears). Shampoohorn has come and gone. I enjoyed your performance of "Mailbox" on the Gonad O'Brien Show. I wish the hell I still had that on video, but back then I thought, oh I'll have plenty of chances to see these guys again. Once again life gives me the finger. Well, time to save more lives.

Boomshanka,

Brad

I dunno, I think that, again, truth is stranger than fiction. Congratulations Brad...you win squat. Now, I'm not going to make a huge contest out of this thing every week, so don't go trying to find friends of your that work at hospitals who have better "this guy ate four boxes of Borax" stories than Brad Dahl has-- that's not what this is all about. I just wanted to thank you all for your kind and wonderful voices of support and humor throughout this trying time. I love you guys, man! Just a couple of more "special" e-mails and we be outta here.....

From the Executive Producer of The Life Of Bryan, Robert Beller:

Finally read your E-mail re: Keneally plans (as of 1/26/96) and words of wisdom quotes. Will get into the Web tonight to read Chapters 6 and 7. Need much time on this piece of shit to get full text. Will probably be all night project.

[BB's note--my father is the unfortunate owner of a computer with a 286 processor in it. Look, he curses just like me! Isn't that cute?]

Words for '96 -- "Go For It!" -- "Just Do It!" -- "Safe Sex!" -- "Tolerate Middle Class Jewish Values Of East Coast Parents!" -- "Stay Lean!" -- "Teamwork!" -- "Network!" "Jewish Parents Apologize For Well-Meaning But Intrusive/Parochial Views" -- "Keep Writing!" -- "Wait For Ewing Trade!" -- "Pat Buchanan!" -- "Beer For Dolphins!" (Will update throughout year.)

[BB's note--the Pat Buchanan reference was made at least two weeks before he won the New Hampshire primary, and is certainly not an endorsenemt of the man himself, rather a warning of his impending impact on the race for President. I think that, when Mr. Beller grows up, he wants to be Robert Novak. As you can see, he's also a NY Knicks fan, and he doesn't necessarily approve of some of the extracurricular NAMM show activities.]

Regards to Mike and Toss. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help for tours in Boston and NY. Love you! ...Dad

Love you too.........B.B. [look...he uses those little dots just like me! Isn't that cute!]

From the CEO of Moosenet, Inc., Scott Chatfield:

I don't want you to get a swelled head, but Act VII is brilliant and touching.

I don't need my work validated by the likes of lowly peasants such as yourself......nice name for the Act, by the way. [BB's note--Chatfield creates all of the names for the Acts]. All of the shareholders appreciate your efforts..........B.B.

And, finally, from someone whose name I can't remember at this moment...

Ain't it funny how we're doing our most heartfelt and emotional corresponding with one another through the MK Page. Fucking macho dickheads.

Love, Keneally

Yeah, actually it's kind of cute. Now go fuck yourself.

Love, B.B.

You have to admit, it was kind of turning into the "Mike And Bryan Circle Jerk" page there for a couple of days.

OK, that's it! If for some reason my replies to you e-mail seem shorter lately, it's because I am getting so much wonderful feedback from all of you and I want to be able to answer each special little note. Nothing personal, OK? OK! WAH WAH WAH!! The next Act will be your standard BFD update, along with pics of the lovely sexpot roommate Joanne and some other pictures way too ghastly too mention ahead of time. Until then, acka acka acka...............B.B.