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Yeah, I know. It's been a while.

I don't know if anyone is still out there checking up on this woebegone page, but just in case someone is, I figured it might be a good idea to write a little something about what's going on, as well as why I've been so terribly negligent in updating the Life Of Bryan. Call it Act 24 and a half.

First, the bad stuff. I've had better summers. For those of you who don't already know, on July 22, my Compaq Presario was infected with a terrible, awful virus (Monkey B) and the whole thing crashed. I lost everything on it. Not to worry--the book was backed up on a floppy (which was not infected, thank fucking God) and in hard copy (all 485 pages of it), but the whole ordeal was a trying one indeed. It put me out of commission for three weeks. As of August 8, I got back up and running, thanks in large part to a 17-year-old computer prodigy who custom-reformatted my entire computer for a pathetically small amount of money. Ironically, this all happened mere days before CEO Chatfield's bitchin' Power Mac took the plunge as well. It seems that neither Steve Jobs nor Bill Gates can save us.

This was the most severe example in a series of misfortunes and distractions too numerous to list here (the mixing/mastering mishap of "Sluggo!" included). The point is, if I had written an LOB anytime in July or August, it most likely would've ended up being a senseless rant about "how life sucks". I can assure you that you would not have wanted to read such a thing. Nobody likes a whiner. Suffice it to say that by not having an LOB detailing such developments, you didn't miss much.

Now, the good stuff. The new MK/BFD album will be remixed this month, and should be out late this year. My computer works again. There may be a select few West Coast mini-tour dates in the works for late October (you heard it here first). And, finally, I'm nearing completion of the first draft of my novel-to-be. Official book update as of September 3, 1997: 50 chapters down, 3 to go. Yep, it's long. Like you expected anything less. I think I can get the whole thing done, revisions and all, by the end of the year, if not sooner. Then we'll see if anyone cares enough to publish it.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the book-in-progress has taken up most of my writing juices, but not to worry--I'm not giving up on this page. I just needed every ounce of energy I had to keep pressing forward with the novel. As soon as I get done with the first draft (ETA: end of September), I'll write something on here worth reading. I promise.

Until then, I'll be finishing the damned thing, as well as helping MK put the finishing touches on "Sluggo!". It's a hell of an album. That Mike, he sherr kin play that geetar. I've been listening to a tape of the rough tracks for months now. Can't wait for you to hear it.

That's all for now. In all sincerity: thanks for reading along, understanding, and just being you.

Death To All Who Write, Create, And Promulgate The Spread Of Computer Viruses,

The Bassboy Number Sixty-Nine