The	click here for the home page of the new bryanbellerdotcom

I know what you're thinking. Mike Keneally, in a desperate attempt to enhance his Q rating and overall exposure level, has done a devious thing. He's cleverly disguised certain pages of his web site as links to as yet untapped markets for future Keneally domination, and this particular bit of trickery is a link to the Los Angeles Transvestite Home Page (the obvious address being http://www.that's the ugliest fucking chick I've ever seen.com). But no....it's only his bass player, me, your friend Bryan, in a questionable Halloween costume. I can feel my Q rating soaring as I type.

You see, the CEO (or maintenance boy, depending on how you see it) of all things Keneally-on-line, Scott Chatfield, came up with the idea that there should be an alternate viewpoint; a different slant, if you will, on the Mike phenomenon. No, this won't be some point- counterpoint nightmare (I can see it now........"Welcome to Crossfire!! On the left--Mike Keneally! Underneath and to the right a little--Bryan Beller! Tonight's topic---Beer For Dolphins, Singular or Plural???). Just a different perspective...a brief chance to see through the purple-colored glasses that tint my life. And I get to talk about ME ME ME ME ME----oh, sorry, that won't happen again, I swear.

This is all because I, being the anal-retentive obsessive-compulsive freak that I am, had completely ignored the COMING ON-LINE REVOLUTION everyone's always talking about until about a month ago, when I discovered that my beautiful, sexpot roommate Joanne (I actually introduced her to a friend of mine and now they grumble love noises to each other--what the hell was I thinking?) had a computer. Right away, I familiarized myself with the cornerstone of any net-surfer's education...Fuji Golf. Don't laugh, I shot a 30 on the back nine yesterday. Anyway, soon enough I discovered the narcissistic pleasure of looking at myself longingly on the screen via the "Meat Beer For Dolphins" page on this here fine site (and anyone who's seen that pic should've known that the red dress was coming). The sad next step was e-mail addiction, a common plight from what I hear. (If e-mailing Mike doesn't quite satisfy your daily fix, you can always e-mail me at bassboy69@prodigy.com. Don't fucking laugh at me, I know Prodigy sucks but this setup isn't mine, it's my sexpot roommate Joanne's!!) [Editor's note: Bryan has since wised-up and can now be congratulated at bassboy69@earthlink.net.] So CEO Chatfield carefully evaluated my e-ramblings and deemed them suitable for on-line consumption. Aren't you grateful? That's OK, 'cause I know very few of you are still reading this--the Transvestite Home Page was too alluring for most to ignore and I understand that.

So there's an intro to the "Life Of Bryan" (title credit to the CEO again). I promise I'll talk about music and BFD soon. Today is Wed., 11/15. On Friday, 11/17, we'll shock the patrons of Bourbon Square in Van Nuys by playing there yet again. Hopefully, like the band that proceeded us the last time we played there, they'll love us forever. And for sharing this maiden voyage with me, I love you all forever-------------------B.B.